Matters of the Heart
Dear Julia,
Happy 13th birthday! An official teenager now, but really an old soul. You are a treasure in my life. The sun was in Capricorn when you were born, just like your mom- the Cardinal Earth sign, the Sea-Goat, able to navigate both water and earth with gracefulness and persistence. Slow and steady, like a mountain goat, you climb your way to the top. The peak. You know how to turn obstacles into opportunities and achieve your goals. You ooze creativity, just like the rest of your family. And you do it with humor and style! I remember meeting you for the first time as a newborn, a bright light snuggled up in your moms arms while she nursed you. Cozy and comfy next to her warm heart. Your loving Lithuanian Grandma Dorothy had just died. She was a true beauty, inside and out, and the hostess extraordinaire, just like you and your mom. We’re so lucky that we get to explore the world together, near and far, and 2023 will be no different…Korea, here we come!! I love the playlist you made for me, btw. I dance to it often and it always lifts my spirits, imagining us absorbing into the Korean language, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, traditions and energy. Thank you for sharing your big heart with me, and your room sometimes!
I’m honoring something else on this special day- this writing blog I’ve had for the past 8 years, Keeping it Real, is officially going into retirement. I’ve enjoyed sharing these essays and this is my last hurrah. I’ve written many, and published a dozen. This is lucky number 13! Just like you. A celebration! I’ll continue my writing in other ways, shapes and forms. You know how much I like some of the old fashioned ways, like letter writing, coloring and other expressions from the heart, and that’s what this final essay is about. I had fun writing it, and I learned a lot! It’s like a choose your own adventure series. Feel free to skip around, or go to the end. Keep being awesome and real! With love ~ Gretchen🦋
“Hands are so beautiful. Expressive, useful. One reason I want to write is it employs my hands. Writing letters to me is a form of hand holding.”
The Heart of the Matter (45 minute audio version, read by yours truly, available upon request)❤️…
Letters, notes and cards. I’ve been writing them for as long as I can remember. Friends and lovers. Sisters and brothers. Parents and children. Young and old. And even a few for myself! The OG way of getting a message across. Pen to paper. Ink. Black and white. Heart to heart. Hand to hand. Words strung together like a melody*. Language. Refinement. Clarity. Music. Pops of color. Signed, sealed and delivered by hand or via the postal service. Stamp of approval. A paper airplane or message in a bottle does the trick too. Ping-Pong. Head and Heart. A love story. Partnership. A life story. So, grab a cup of Chaga tea or a Naughty Norwegian from the Daily Grind, and enjoy the view out your window…
Dear Heart,
You matter. You are the first sign of life. Your detected beat. A drum. Your rhythm, fast and slow. Your wave, short and long. Your pulse, up and down. Your vibration, buzzing and static. Charge. Your electromagnetic force is 45-70 times stronger than the brain. Heart Computed Tomography. CT scan. When you miss a beat or lose your tempo, pacemakers, stints and prescribed meds are implanted, inserted and injected to reset your rhythm and flow. Thin your thick blood. Prosthetics and devices of all kinds to lighten your heavy load. Bypass. Transplant. Monitor. Helper. Specialist. Cardiologist. Cardiovascular surgeon. Echocardiographer. When you stop altogether, the high voltage electrical current from a defibrillator attempts to jump start and revive you. AED. In schools and grocery stores. To the beat of the Bee Gees. On commuter trains and airplanes. Offices and health clubs. Staying alive. Commotio Cordis, hit to the heart. Shockwaves. Chest compressions. Emergency medicine. E-medicine. Energy medicine. Re-activating The Light Body. Lights, camera, action! Surgeon to open you up. Or cut the rib cartilage and create a small trapdoor to you. Creative problem solving. History. Mayo clinic shouldn’t get all the glory! Innovation. Do your homework. Head and Heart working together, in alignment. Hand in hand. Performed. Recorded. A stabbed and wounded heart. On a hot summer Chicago night in the late 1800’s, in the heart of the South Side, the worlds first documented successful heart surgery was performed by Daniel Hale Williams, son of a barber:
Determined that Chicago should have a hospital where both black and white doctors could study and where black nurses could receive training, Williams rallied for a hospital open to all races. After months of hard work, he opened Provident Hospital and Training School for Nurses on May 4, 1891, the country's first interracial hospital and nursing school.
One hot summer night in 1893, a young Chicagoan named James Cornish was stabbed in the chest and rushed to Provident. When Cornish started to go into shock, Williams suspected a deeper wound near the heart. He asked six doctors (four white, two black) to observe while he operated. In a cramped operating room with crude anesthesia, Williams inspected the wound between two ribs, exposing the breastbone. He cut the rib cartilage and created a small trapdoor to the heart. Underneath, he found a damaged left internal mammary artery and sutured it. Then, inspecting the pericardium (the sac around the heart) he saw that the knife had left a gash near the right coronary artery. With the heart beating and transfusion impossible, Williams rinsed the wound with salt solution, held the edges of the palpitating wound with forceps, and sewed them together. Just 51 days after his apparently lethal wound, James Cornish walked out of the hospital. He lived for over 20 years after the surgery. The landmark operation was hailed in the press.
Howard University ER = “Code Blue” = “Dr. Dan”.
You are the 5th Dimension. 5D. Tipereth. Heart chakra. Anahata. Not 1D, 2D, 3D or 4D. Those are building blocks. You are different. Your mysterious chambers hold the master key, a connector to the Divine Perception. One Awareness. Universal Studios. Magic Kingdom. Mystic Mountain. Transcending time and space. Your 5 virtues- love, trust, generosity, kindness and compassion- all wrapped up in one powerful package. A bundle of beauty. Like a ripe red tomato with the same chambers, a replica grown in warmth and light. Your frequency match. Juicy and life giving. Nourishment. The perfect food medicine to keep you healthy and vibrant. Lycopene. Doctrine of signatures. Pumping and circulating blood and qi. Love and life. The center, the core, the crux. My trusty companion and guide since the beginning. You tell me the truth, and it’s my job to pay attention and listen to your wise counsel. I’m not always good at it. Slow down and speed up. Low and high blood pressure. Squeeze. Block the flow. Tighten. Armor up. I get over-everything sometimes and throw you into a tailspin. My condition with you, oh sensitive heart. That’s when I go sweep the floors, with my colorful Mexican broom. Broomstick therapy! Relax and keep practicing. Meditation as Medicine. Please take a seat. Soften. Open. Trust. Lullaby. You know the way. Be still my heart.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), you are The Emperor/Empress. A fitting title. Royalty. Empire state of mind. Green and red are your colors, like Christmas. A yin organ, deep and nourishing. Fire is your element, burning along with your yang companion- Small Intestine; the Pericardium- your protective boundary, P6; and San Jiao- Triple Heater, temperature control. Your direction is south and your season is summer. Hot and sweaty. Volcano. Chocolate molten lava cake. Your taste is bitter and your sound is laughter. Your point of entry is the tongue and an imbalance causes stuttering and mutism. Tongue tied. The King’s Speech. Tongue twisted. She sells seashells by the seashore. Panic. Manic. Over-joy. Over-the-top. Overstretched. Overexposed. Overwhelmed. Conditions of the heart. Arrest. Rest. Put to rest. Re-open and get back to the heart of the matter. Cinema. Blood vessels, arteries, veins and meridians are your vehicles, sending messages to and from. Heart-Head-Body-Emotion. Order in the court. Ruling your empire. You feel it all. Activated superpowers. Keen intuition. The Sixth Sense. Just ask M. Night Shayamalan!
You house the wisdom mind, the Shen. Spirit. Attention. Shen Chung ~ Rejuvenation ~ CV17. Shen Tao ~ Spirit Way ~ GV11 ~ T5. Shaoyin is your special time of day, 11am-1pm, your high qi flow. Brunch. You represent the present moment and are the storer of long term memory. Past and future rest deep in you, sometimes coming to the surface. Cycle. Change of heart. You rule sleep- solid and sound? Clear and stable. Day. Awake. Night. Asleep. Disturbed and disrupted? Confusion and instability. Night-night spray to the rescue! Calm the shen. Heart of palm. Palm of hand.
You are open to breaking, a risk. Shattered. Splattered. Scattered. A million little pieces. Wounded. It hurts. Pain. Sadness. Separation. Alone. Fear. Anxiety. Palpitations. Palms sweaty. Affairs of the heart. Passion. Racing. Skipping a beat. Arrhythmia. Attack. Coronary. Cardiac. Shock. You sometimes feel shaky, throbbing, achy, weak, piercing, heavy, scratchy, numb, tight. Unbearable. Hot and cold. Shift. Pins and needles. Broken open.
You are open to love, a reward. It feels good. You are warm, buzzing, light, open, strong, balanced, free flowing and expansive. A breathtaking song. Awe. Alchemy. Atlas of the Heart. Research it. Stay vulnerable and remember that real courage lives inside of you, my dear heart. Love potion. Love medicine. Love club. Resonance. Tuning fork. Like attracts like. Wholeness. One. Union. Universal. University. You understand. Wrapping my head around you. AQ. Adaptability Quotient. Take matters into your own hands. Okay, I will.
Talk to the head,
Gretchy~Playlist/Mixtape Queen
Dear Head,
You know a lot. You sit beneath the Crown, Keter. The whirling circle, bridging the gap between us and the Divine. Crown Royale. In the beginning… sparks of an idea move through Hokhmah, wisdom. Ah ha! Right brain. The center of cognition, impulse, perception. Great Father. Ideas are structured and built in Binah. The center of understanding, contemplation and discernment. Left brain, structural processes. The Great Mother. Consciousness lives in your midbrain center, Da’at. Center of head. Great Father and Great Mother meeting in the middle. Merging. Pituitary. Pineal. Pine cone. Third eye. Awaken. Enlighten. Self-Actualize. True vision. You are in constant communication with the heart and body through a weaving of centers, pathways and channels. Light filled.
Knowledge. You are mostly water, an absorbing sponge floating within the skull. The ultimate conductor of electricity. Networks. Information is power. IQ. Intelligence Quotient. EQ. Emotional Intelligence. AI. Artificial Intelligence. Measurement. Facts. Data. Problem. Solution. Question and answer. Curiosity and wonder. Cranium. Cortex. Hemispheres. Lobes. Cerebellum. A walnut. High in Omega-3’s, a superfood for cognitive function and brain health. Interest. Study. Research. Findings. Proof. Neuroscience. Neurotransmitters. Vagus nerve. Psycho. Psychiatrist. Psychoanalysis. Analysis paralysis. Serious as a heart attack. Stuck. Dissect. Right. Wrong. Division. Superior-Inferior. Brain dead. Identification. Ego. Relax and settle down! You’re like a mouse in a cage, trying to escape. Chasing your own tail. A dilemma. Mental health. Move over and let The Great Lion through the gate, Maniac.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
Open mind. You are brilliant, dear head, but sometimes you forget that you are in service of the heart, the Empress. She is in charge and wants her Empire to thrive. Flourish and prosper. Expand and grow. Leadership. Order. Trust. She knows that we all do better when we all do better. She listens to understand. That’s her job, her strength, her purpose. Listening. You close yourself off from her sometimes. You have so much knowledge, but no real understanding. Weakness. You only listen to respond, defend, argue, protect, separate, divide, judge, criticize. Fake ID. Too big for your britches. Smarty pants. Opinions. Assumptions. Control. Supreme leader. Kim Jong Un. Dictator. Destructive. Bobble head. You manipulate your troops with fear. You talk a big game. Hide and Seek. You are scared. Trivial Pursuit. All-knowing. Chess. Two sides to every story. Game of Thrones. Fairytales. Drama. Stories. Gossip. Rumors. Trauma. PTSD, War. Exhausting. Outside job. Mind your own beeswax. Tend your own garden. Watch your own bobber. Stay in your own lane. Speak for yourself. Take responsibility. Don’t believe everything you think. You think you know, but do you understand? Jumping to conclusions. Mind F*$#. Stuck on a loop de loop. Talking Heads. Shhhhh, quiet! Give it a rest. Sit still. Hand on heart. It knows the answer to your problem and will show you the way, the Tao. Peaceful surrender, my talking head. Practice. Inside job. The Heart of the Matter is on your side and appreciates your wise counsel, Imperial Advisor. You are sharp and open. Your Carnegie library of mind is helpful. Encyclopedia Brittanica. Resourceful. History. Herstory. Strategy. Art of War. What comes to mind? Something Jimi Hendrix once said- “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” Understood. I passed the LISTENING exam on the first try! Sounds easy, but no small feat. And no fear. Open Heart= Real Courage. The Greatest. Be still, my racing head. The quieter you become, the more you hear. Practice makes perfect. Full immersion into the heart, the present moment is the way. Absorb into it and watch the outside match the inside. It is what it is. Heart magic.
What’s the matter? The magic is inside you. There ain’t no crystal ball. Sounds like solid advice from the Dalai Lama, or was it the Dolly Lama?! As the heart master Ram Dass famously said, when you know how to LISTEN everybody is the guru… LIFE. LIKE ARCHITECTURE. IS A VERB. IF DESIGNED WELL. IT WORKS. IT’S BEAUTIFUL. AND IT NEEDS NO DIRECTIONS. IT NEEDS MAINTENANCE. -Matthew McConaughey. GPS. One Direction, not the boy band. Location in space. It’s not that complicated. Don’t overthink it. Step aside, even for a split second. Take a breather. Sacred pause. One sec, be right there. Just a minute. Close your eyes. Reflect. Can I put you on hold? On my way. Take a seat. Wait right here. See you soon. Get out of the way. Be right back. Time out. See you later. Thanks for waiting. Can you close the door? Wrapping my heart around you. Embrace your inner bobblehead. Connect the dots. Word search. Take your time. Let love rule. Listen to Lenny! Brainiac.
Talk to the heart,
Gretch~Hyperlink Queen
*Acknowledgments: My nuclear family changed through a pandemic divorce, one for the record books…A “big doggie deal”, as my Architect/Astrologer friend Tod likes to say. 20/20 Vision. Hindsight is 20/20. 2020 Experience. Early on in my divorce process, my honest and trusty friend of nearly 3 decades, Jeff, reminded me that divorce is indeed a death, and death is just change. Wise words from a solid man who knows a thing or two about death and change. The ultimate repairer of broken things, messes and drain clogs! Integrity through and through. And the best dad to 3 of the brightest, bravest and most talented young women I know- bi-coastal beauties! All on your way, along with the Matriarch, to your favorite Hawaiian vacay today, don’t get any blisters in the sun! Ko cycle = destruction. Shen cycle = creation. I have loads of experience with death and change too, so I pulled up my bootstraps and started to walk along the way. Or in warmer weather, laced up my rollerblades and glided along. Following my heart. Some of you courageously joined me on my journey, and included me on yours. Trust. We can do hard things. Global pandemic. It always seems impossible until it’s done, as Nelson Mandela once said. He would know. Anyway, planes, peace trains and automobiles took us here and there. Detours, wrong turns and even a few run-ins with the law never stopped us. Mission accomplished. Destination. Destiny. Destined for greatness. My passengers, co-pilots, back seaters, navigators and a few hitch hikers. Sometimes you even stepped up and took the wheel when I couldn’t see clearly or was white knuckling it, carrying a heavy load and heart. We can do magical things together. Thank you. Letters, cards, notes, gifts and packages were thoughtfully delivered all over. My consistent delivery systems were on top of their game, and a special shoutout goes to Elisabeth- guardian angel from my local light-filled USPS, a good space to sort out your life. They even have an official stamp dedicated to Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, a guaranteed tear jerker. Therapy. I probably owe you a roll of official Priority Mail transparent tape, what comes around goes around! I did my best. Some of you turned your back and walked in the other direction, jumped out of the way, ran for the hills or were gently ushered out. No hard feelings. Shit got real. Maroney’s Sanitation, one of the most dependable families I know, showed up every week, even during the pandemic shitstorm, and hauled away any leftover virus laden toxic garbage, my own and others. Carefully collected and transported to the nearest dump or recycling center, to be alchemized into something different. Cleaning up my side of the street. This included a few breakup notes I wrote-to knives, poison, takers, vampires and crazymakers- straight to the trash can and disposed of properly, by rubbish professionals. See ya! Good thing I paid extra close attention in all of my Defence Against the Dark Arts classes over the years. Hex. Curse. Spell. Expelliarmus. Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Poison to nectar. Freedom. The best St. Patty’s Day and Cinco de Mayo celebrations! Departure. Let it go. Forgive. Compost. Fertilizer. Environment. My heart condition. Take a deep breath. Breathe in the new space. Wide open spaces. Breathe out everything else. Time for new life to take root, fresh flowers to bloom. Renewal. Arrival. My wise friend Kevin, a real hair wizard, told me that relationships are for a reason, season or lifetime. Or was it his mom? It doesn’t matter, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Thanks for always brightening my day with your genuine smile, youthful spirit and amazing cape collection! Takes one to know one.
Additional dedications, shout-outs, supporters, collaborators, underwriters, teachers (sorry to everyone I missed- I had a deadline to meet and had to cut myself off!):
Isaac, Aidan and Samuel- My Three Little Birds, hatched and delivered through me on 9/1/00, 3/21/02 and 2/23/06. You light up my life! My whole heart, my everything, my all. MY GPS. My Professors. My Heroes. My GOATS (Greatest of All Times). My 3 Treasures. Jing-Qi-Shen. Honeycrisp, SweeTango and FirstKiss apples of my eye🍎🍎🍎 Stay curious. Play. Build a snow fort. Build a tree fort. Breathe. Eat well. Move your body. Stay hydrated. Read. Travel. Focus on the river, not the rocks. Start over. Show up. Be yourself. Be kind. Learn from your past, but don’t live there. Forgive. Weed, water and prune your garden of life. Plan and prepare. Work it out. Practice being brave. Talk to a trusty mirror. Be your own best friend. Be on time. Ask good questions and listen. Write it down. Organize. Laughter is the best medicine. Follow your heart. Grow. Dad and Mom- Desiderata. True love. Power couple. Leo + Leo = Double the fire! Fully engaged in life. If you’re bored, you’re boring. Get along. Get up. Sit up straight. Sit down. Don’t complain. Don’t talk back. Go to your room. Clean your room. Figure it out. Don’t let it define you. Go to school. Do the dishes. Pay attention to the details. Keep tissue boxes everywhere. Share. Create beautiful spaces. Quality matters. Plan and prepare. Live life on your terms. Be generous. Take care of yourself. Take care of others. Take care of the planet. Show up. Stand up for what you believe in. Move. And then move again and again and again and again and again and again. Keep it moving, people! Laugh. Celebrate. Dance. Enjoy your life. Be surrounded by games, art, food, music, crafts, culture, good people, nature, nurture and plenty of books and reading materials. The wide variety of magazines you chose to subscribe to says it all… National Geographic, Focus on the Family, US News & World Report, Log Home Living, Wisconsin Natural Reserve, Time…and probably a few gems for car guys and quilting gals to peruse. Be happy. Now shut the door!!
My 2 magical Nina’s, who both inspired my writing this December, with your hard work, dedication and zest for life💃💃🏻You bring your head and heart to everything you focus your attention on. Fixed Earth and Fixed Water, Taurus and Scorpio. Nina T.- my covid intern, in the early chaos of it all, when college internships were few and far between. We did it in our own way, had fun and were successful in our endeavors! In reality, it felt more like I was your intern, despite our requirements from your respected college. Now a second year law student, your determination, glowing nature and magnetic personality brought you all the way to the Supreme Court this month, the best story. Baby, you’re a star! Nina D.- a true artistic genius, the world is your studio! Your lens is unique and your creative juices are always flowing. From screenplays to skateparks to stages, you show up and spread your magic everywhere. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Miss Trunchbull. Your sense of adventure and laughter is infectious, and you make an ordinary day extraordinary! Alli- the catalyst for this final essay, a talented Aveda hair magician and dear friend who now keeps my locks fresh- our connection is a fortunate stroke of serendipity. You are one of the brightest lights I know, born 24 hours before one of our darkest days- 9/11/2001. Your arrival time was no accident. A special gift of extra light for the world, just when we needed it. Light in the dark. You show up. Our first real life encounter was on Valentines Day 2020, love is the answer. You were there for the signing of my Declaration of Independence on 3/10/21, and you continue to support me and my family. Just like you do for yours. New life. Babies. Post-9/11, Post-apocalypse. I binged HBO’s Sex and the City that cold winter, as a tiny escape from the mad world we were living in. 3/10/02 was my due date with your bff A.J.- he stayed nestled in the warm water until the sun moved into Aries, the astrological New Year. Initiation and activation. Almost 2 weeks overdue, but right on time, as always. Spring Equinox. Balance of light and dark. Confession- Aidan James is named after my favorite of Carrie Bradshaw’s loves. IMHO. Aidan= “little fire” = Aries = Cardinal Fire. My good karma✨ MF- Sister from another cool cat mister! Queen Bey of her Castle👑 Master of the Artist’s Way. Catholic school graduates, learning the foundations of good writing together. Some forbidden fruit lessons too. You bring everything to life. Mas totopos, por favor. My Venus in Capricorn, the Midwife. Grounded roots. Life coach and encourager. Singer and storyteller. Pastry chef and party planner. Comedy Central. Creative problem solver. Boarding house proprietor and best friend. Second home in the Windy City. Wonder twin powers activate! KMD- Twin Sister. Two foxes. Your Aries fire keeps me moving. Your love and care of sweet creatures, huge and tiny, amazes me. From horses to hedgehogs, and every living thing in between. Your compassionate heart. I feel safe with you too. A real friend to all. We speak the same language, Mercury in Pisces. Imagination. Psychic. Foreshadow. Undergrads bravely moving through the world together since ‘94- city dwellers, nature explorers, crime scene investigators, bloody wounds, tent cities, tornados, nightclubs, Prince, dayclubs, snakes in the grass, black forests, mice in our way, facing phobias and fears, spider webs, white squirrels, matching VW’s, horsepower, wizards and their wolves, looking and listening, laughter and beauty everywhere, falling down and getting back up, moon cycles, mothering. The ultimate hand holder. Everything works out🦊 LT- Ukrainian Queen. Better half of our Dynamic Duo. UST Sister and boss babe. Clear reflection. Confident and confidante. Multi-talented multitasker. Seeing eye to eye, slathered in our Twin Cities famous Chage Eye Cream. Bright eyes, semi-awake and always hydrated during the wildest of times. Rays of Sunshine, Hot Messes or Naughty Victorians. Depends on the day. Pulling it together and pulling it off. Celebrating wins! Through thick and thin. Trust. Loving daughter to Nina and mother to Nina. Mirror mirror on the wall. Empowered women empower women. Matching Cheetah Capes🐆Laughing all the way! D- Free and easy Sister. Partner in crime. Breaking the rules together, and sometimes the law. Laughter is the best medicine. Chocolate Espresso Bean Queen and Nut Cup Connoisseur. S.O.S. Adventure seeker. Meticulous detailer. You told me once to write it all down, and I listened. Sound advisor. Badass Mama Bear to T, big brother to my 3 little birds. Peas in a pod. Son #4. Award winning pianist. MN State Fair Grandstander. Midwest Ivy Leaguer. Futbal star. Future dentist. FUNNEST! H- Spirit Junkie Sister. Intuitive Healer. Star Stylist. Manual Queen. 2 for 1. Lifting and shifting. My SPED teacher- specialized instruction. IEP. You tell the truth, make me feel special, keep me in line, and keep me in stitches. The hardest job. Dropping it like it’s hot! WWCD. Your dad and my mom are shining their lights on us- shit happens and don’t sit in your own shit. Getting shit together, organizing it and sending it off. Sprinkling sparkles everywhere. Co-author. We do what we want. Jingle all the way! AG- Queen Anne with an E, the one and only. Divine Roots. Accomplished author. Head & Heart. Milk & Honey. Working in unison. Natures harvest. My Speech Therapist. Dance partner. Hostess with the mostess. Healing hands, arts and crafts. Horse whisperer and drill team leader. Embodiment of Cardinal Water, HOME. All in the family. Matriarch of the all water household- Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio. Understanding the heartbeat of emotional undertows- streams, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans. Earth Mama to the fortunate fruits of your labor, A and H- thoughtful and creative young feminists. Holding the space with strength and confidence. DG- Pisces Brother. Boat captain, river rat and safety net in uncharted waters. Fearless leader of all the ladies! Music king. Visual artist and photographer. Adobe creator and innovator. Real car guy, specializing in classic VWs. Showing up with your kind spirit and warm hug. Keeping it real! HA- Patient Sister. Primary Care Physician. Teacher of true medicine. Practical and unconditional. You get it done. Leader. Mentor. Guide. Miracle worker. Fun and full of life! BOAT- Bravest Of All Time. 9/11 birthday girl. Virgo, the Healer. Earth mama extraordinaire. Grounded giver. Heart holder. Body healer. Mind clearer. Judge free zone. Out of my closet and into the world. No BS. Watch out 2023, here she comes! AcuEnergetics® Community, local and global. R and K at the helm, integrity to the core. All the Practitioners, Wellness Balancers, Teachers, and Students- helpmates who forever changed the course of my life, birthed in a death bubble. Your healing hands and hearts. From my first Energy Center Balance with dear friend AK, the heart connector of all, I knew it was legit. Real in a world of fakes and phonies. Lifesaver. You keep me alive and kicking, and my heart ticking. Flow and function. Turning the lights back on and around. Reconnecting the electrical grid. It makes sense. It works. Clients- past and present. You show up and trust me. Ready to open. Listen and learn. We take a journey together, an unwinding, unfolding. Untethered, yet grounded. Holistic. Healing. Your generosity, support and belief in yourselves help me expand my own wings, fly. Growth. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I heard my teacher Niv once say my clients are my friends. I couldn’t agree more. NYC Sisters- AG, JH, MT~ 4 curious explorers living in the Big Apple, and taking a bite out of everything. 40 days and 40 nights. Every ounce, nook and cranny, no stone unturned. We did it all. 5 Boroughs and 5 Elements Theory. Natural cycles. Death, birth, transformation, change. We took the Hippocratic Oath, and mastered the art of food as medicine. Barefoot Doctors. Pockets of Light. Wow, in awe of all we have accomplished ever since, together and separately. Soup Queens. Collective Wellness, our baby. Love, inclusion and acceptance. The MN girls making a splash in the Concrete Jungle. Eyes wide open. SD- Brother from another kind mother with the same name. Mover and shaker, just like Elmo, with the most caring heart to match. Taking care of business. Legendary technical director and button pusher. Pulling it all together with fluidity and finesse. Style. Curator and designer of live spaces and experiences, from intimate to grandiose. Always a treat and never a dull moment. Conductor, keeping everyone on their toes and the show on the road. Masterful musician. True European Renaissance man AND American junior higher, all at the same Medieval Times! Scuba Steve, you are a real superhero. LS- Aussie Sister. My patient professor of Anatomy & Physiology 101. Cheerleader and hype girl. Late night study buddy. Dream guest. In sync. You believe in me. I’m walking into my closet now and taking something extra special off the top shelf. A very generous gift from you and one of my most treasured possessions. It’s been patiently waiting for years until I was ready to receive it. The time is now. Believe you deserve it, and the universe will serve it. Open for business. The J’s- Won’t you be my neighbor? YES!! Welcome in. Spiritual Director Sis Z, your 3 little birdies, and MJ’s rockstar hair and green crocs. Aries love squared = Passion and flare for life! Real Christians who practice what they preach. Your cozy, craft filled cocoon, protected by Faith, Hope, Joy. Taking Hygge to a new level. Your quilting hands + my moms quilting squares = Quilt made of pure love, my one and only. My colorful and cozy hug from heaven. Share. Highs and lows. Downs and ups. Gains and losses. Death and birth. And now a wedding! The N’s- Real Lightworkers. Surprise gift on the hottest weekend of summer. SNL. Right on time. Live from NY, it’s Saturday night! Purple Rain. Timing is everything. Lions Gate. $200.50 ticket price=worth every penny! Light it up. Lighter. B- Queen of Sisterhood. Aries activator, keeping all of your love filled home fires burning🔥 Under the watchful eye of the Great Waters as your backdrop. Your beautiful eyes and strong heart held the space as my 3rd little bird made his graceful grand entrance into the world. My eyes were locked on you at the Crowning. Brave. Giver. Godmother. BG- A real life Goddess, glowing from the inside out. Energy Healer. Divine Feminine embodied. You show up with your Gemini healing hands and heart, and a powerful medicine bag. Face and body magician. All layers, to the deepest depths. Mystic. Storyteller. Artist. Crystal clear. Understander of the Masculine too. Soul maintenance. ARK- Thriving Sister. 2020 brave roomie, covid style. Iron Ranger. Adventurer. Athlete. Dedicated student and intern. Hand therapy. OT. Masters Degree. Bright mind. Voracious Reader. Creative eye and attention to detail. Design and inspiration, brought to life. Inhale~Exhale. Early to bed, early to rise. The early bird gets the worm! Manifest Destiny. Newlywed to TK- I love your love. Generous and kind hearts. Ask for what you need…and be prepared to receive it. JH- Loyalty Queen. Self-healing Sisters. Ahead of our time. Spiritual Gangsters. Bravely walking through the 3D world in the 5D. Surrounded by beauty. Flowers on the Moon. Generous and grounding force. Sharing your gifts from the sea. You keep everything in bloom! Belief. GK- Street Smart Sister. Fellow Playlist Queen. Almost twins. We keep growing together, sharing and supporting our weaving and winding paths. Rooted in family, simple pleasures, generosity, kindness and grace. Real, honest and fun! I can count on you, since day 1. Hugs for my hands from Norway 🇳🇴 SM- Cosmic Soul Sister. Instant heart and soul explosion on the first day of school- for us, and all our little stars in tow. Kindergarten. A real Empress with an entrepreneurial magic wand used to expand and spread more love, light and joy out into the world. CEO of your big beautiful family. Queen of your Universe. The big guns. The secret sauce. Supernatural Muse, Creator, Head Honcho. To infinity and beyond! RN- Avalon Sister. South African Queen. Priestess. Moon ritual. Shadow work. The womb is the tomb. ‘Till death do us part. Let’s meet at the altar. The circle will complete itself. HS Sisters- KRx2, KK, MW, TS, ES, RR, BN, SK, HS. My cheerleaders, even though none of us were actual ones! You show up with pom-poms and the most beautiful flowers🌸 Loyalty and longevity. Rooting for each other. Girl Power, before it was a marketing phrase and movement. Big hair, don’t care! AQ- Winter Sister. Fires. Hot tea. Hot toddy. Frozen hockey rinks. Free spirits. Same wavelength. Nature lover and collector of rocks. Adventurer. North Shore magic. Second mama to all the littles. Kind and generous. All love. SN- German Brother. Kolsch photographer. Inside and outside explorer. Trusted confidante. European flextarian. Resonance. Vulnerability. Open. JC- Weaver of words. Fountains of joy! True understanding. Brave and strong one, like me. Sharing our stories. Kindred spirits. Desert Rose and Pompeii Purple💜 MM- Art Sister. Translator of Mother Nature. Heart and Soul. Real Painter. Magic maker. Natural wonders of the world. Life explorer. Understander. Keeper of magical secrets. Writer. Innovative businesswoman. Beautiful spaces and places. Muse. How do I get out of this? Vision. M and Mr. Hunky- You are ModernRoots. Heart and soul of the operation. A supernova of clean beauty, body and skin care- of epic proportions! Beyond natural and organic, or any of the other labels everybody wants to claim. A dream realized! Created by a real family and for real families. Crafted with care, love and attention. One of your many beautiful babies. From that first bar of soap for your sweet baby G, to sharing your gifts with farmers market fans, opening your brick and mortars, exploding across the states, and expanding throughout the world. Over 400 products to clean, hydrate and lift us up. Plenty of moisture, no dry skin allowed! Heal. Keeping us nourished and calm. One bath bomb at a time! Eternally grateful:) MR Universe- Welcome in. Deep appreciation to everyone who shows up to this special space. Best smells and views, hands down! My light soaked second MN home, less than a 5 mile mystical drive from my home base. Superstar colleagues, past and present, bringing your gifts and talents to our busy and bustling real life Rose Apothecary! Behind the scenes- hard work, teamwork and friendship make it happen. A beehive of activity. Every guest, visitor, customer, anyone and everyone who opens that big heavy front door and enters the magic…real humans, honest folks, good friends and generous supporters- asking good questions and listening. Feeling better and spreading kindness. It matters. Refreshing! T5- Virus Expert. PhD. Research Queen. Successful corporate businesswoman. What you focus on expands. A global pandemic coronavirus, Covid, taught us that. I was grateful to know that you were on the case, with your superhero lab coat, beakers and microscope at the ready. Figuring out that big scary virus for us, no more masks! BM- The legendary piano professor for me and my 3rd little bird. Pre-apocalyptic. Music therapist, friend, helper. Stonebridge caretaker. Gentle soul. Shoulder to cry on. You taught me a few gems that got me through the apocalypse- Edelweiss, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and You Light Up My Life. DF- Queen Honeybee. Head and Heart of Hive-Do. Artistic director, leading your lovely ladies in producing award winning Medicine of the Gods. Dutchess County Fair Best in Show 2022. Flower-Nectar-Stomach-Hive-Honey. My sweet little spoonful a day keeps my own hive healthy, golden and shining-daily nectar! Course Filtered Raw Honey. Deep bow. Bravo! WK- Homebody Sister. You understand the Heart of the Matter more than anyone. 100% Heart! Your California Love and the power of heart medicine- taking care of your honeycomb with JK, your honey on pizza loving drone (male honey bees without stingers). Home is where the heart is. The Y’s- New Mexico family. 3 generations of wise sages and life teachers. Earned wisdom and old souls. Storytellers. Wild and adventurous southwest spirits. Legends. “The circle will complete itself.”- Cousin M. It sure does. “If you’re going to be stupid, be smart about it.” -E. Yep! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Semper Fi. The Z’s- Queen T, my moms best friend, babies together. Winnie Welch and Isabel Wolner’s Girl Scouts. My first official teacher. My second mom. My first Chicago fam. You know me. Through blood, sweat and tears. Special surprises from you and your beautiful family show up in perfect timing, like a warm hug. Generous and thoughtful. You and King F always bring the love and laughter, with the worlds best Ziegler chocolate bars at the ready! Family. My Siblings and their Queens, King, Princes and Princesses. The First Family. My two sisters and two brothers- a pack of spirited kids. My first babysitting job. We forged our own unique paths, from the beginning. We now live our dream lives, of our own creations. Free to be you and me. Bonded by the same DNA, a blended gift from our loving parents who were happily married for almost 47 years. Nature and nurture. Partners in love and life, with their family at the center. We all bring that same love to our own families- humans and animals. You all taught me how to stand up for myself. Sometimes quiet like a mouse, other times loud like a lion. I learned how to show up to the battlefield and fight the good fight. You taught me inner strength and perseverance. One of you was a hippie, a Deadhead who even drove a 1969 green VW bus. Make Love, Not War. That anti-war message was probably around us a lot. Maybe the words were splashed on a colorfully tie-dyed t-shirt? Or blasted from a speaker? A rally cry from the 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair on Max Yasgur’s dairy farm in New York- a celebration of peace and love. War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. That’s what they chanted. We learned the Art of War together, long before I knew it was already written down in detail over 2000 years ago, by a Chinese military strategist named Sun Tzu. A classic strategy book for achieving success in war and business. The first time I read it, it made sense to me. An easy breezy read. Startling how I already understood it. Maybe I was a decorated war hero in a past life or something? War zone. War correspondence. The business strategy I learned from dad, the war strategy I learned from you. I’ve read it several times since, just for guidance, very helpful. The game of life. I always preferred the peace and harmony part. Especially after wartime. I learned that from you too. The hippie of the family became a successful journalist and businesswoman, sharing stories of war and its aftermath, from around the globe. Devastation, rebuilding and hope. One of my most prized possessions is a gift from you, dear sister, mala beads personally blessed by the Dalai Lama himself, when you visited his home in India. A real Nobel Peace Prize winner. Now you live in a serene desert utopia and teach the Art of Clay at the local pottery studio. Full circle. Helping hands and healing arts. Peace begins with me. The War of Art is more my style now- breaking through blocks and winning inner creative battles. One of my favorite soft t-shirts I wear around the house says Make Par, Not War- it’s red, our moms favorite color! A gift from my disc golf loving boys. Imagine whirled peas! Last three words. Peace and love✌🏼
*Matters of the Heart playlist, full soundtrack for your listening pleasure. 6 hours. A spider web of connecting threads.
Thanks for reading my essay, novel, short story, love letter, term paper, gratitude journal, rave, blog post, musing, rambling, dissertation, immersive experience, final project. Whatever you want to call it, it was a labor of love. A treasure hunt written in the stars! Go your own way. You made it to the end. Or is it the beginning? You choose…